NO MORE I LOVE EWES

Hello Darling, It's Me, Your Weekly Revelations.

//90s BITCH//

Julien Knez a.k.a. Golem13 has imagined what some of our generation's most popular TV series might look like in the heyday of VHS. The resulting retro artworks are nothing short of brilliant; using perfectly dated fonts that would make any typographer swoon, with enticing banners such as 'for the first time on VHS' and 'plus previews from other hit movies' that, complete with suitably tatty plastic sleeves, are certainly making us nostalgic for the less-digitized days of yesteryear.

//YOU’RE NOT INVITED TO THIS CONVERSATION//

If you thought Azealia Banks had become obsolete everywhere but Twitter, think again. The controversial rapper is reportedly starring in a RZA-directed film, alongside Common. The musical drama, which is shooting this weekend, tells the story of a female rapper who, after enrolling in a college poetry class, begins experimenting with slam poetry. Watch RZA talk about the upcoming film here.

//A TREE GROWS IN HELL//

Barring the plot of Jurassic World coming true, people will be there to read Margaret Atwood’s latest work, it just won’t be us. The author’s latest fictional work will be locked away for 100 years as part of the Future Library Project, in which one text will be added to the collection until 2114. The project began with the planting of 1000 trees last year just outside of Oslo, and will end in 2114 when all of the trees are cut down to provide paper for the texts. Thus giving rise to a question for the ages: does a manuscript exist if nobody’s there to read it?

//MOVE OVER PUMPKIN PIE//

2014’s most popular artist strikes again. Yayoi Kusama’s aptly titled latest work, The Obliteration Room is part of the celebrated Japanese artists' GIVE ME LOVE exhibition. And love is, indeed, what we are giving her. Installed in New York's David Zwirner Gallery from now until June 13, the installation employs a plain white room as a canvas, where visitors are handed a set of circular stickers that they are asked to apply anywhere they please; eventually the stickers become an unrecognizable blur of colours. Who knew the octogenarian would have such a fine grasp of crowdsourcing?

//FLAKKA ON FLEEK//

Shia certainly hasn’t been very shy lately. Just this year, the guy appeared on Lars von Trier’s Nymphomaniac with a paper bag over his head that read “I am not famous anymore,” and this week, LaBeouf added another slightly odd story to his collection, collaborating with art students at London’s Central Saint Martins for their BFA degree show. The Transformers star filmed 36 videos in front of a green screen to introduce the students’ work. The graduates submitted monologues of no more than 100 words for Shia to perform, which ranged from reciting “Ooh man” in front of a block of butter, to performing the text while doing a handstand. LaBeouf and his artistic partners, Luke Turner and Nastja Säde Rönkkö, stated that this collaboration was about “Human interaction and expression across networks.” Watch the films here.

//A LITTLE TOO REAL//

Browsing through Brazilian-born artist, Lorenzo Castellini’s Instagram Art Lies, you’ll be treated to a series of famous faces from art history strategically matched to the body of a passersby. Venus emerges from a Shell [gas station logo] and Salvador Dali’s clock from"The Persistence of Memory" hangs off a rock, to name a few. These #aircollages breathe new life into some of our most treasured masterworks, and a little old life into your daily feed.

//PROM QUEEN//

Our favorite eccentric designer and tutu queen, Betsey Johnson will be awarded the CFDA Lifetime Achievement Award next Monday. It’s a well-deserved honor for Johnson, who made a name for herself in her early 20s working with Andy Warhol, dressing the Factory Girls, and for her glitter and neon-centric eponymous line. Here’s hoping she’ll whip out one of her signature cartwheels down the stage to receive the award.

//LEXICAL LOL//

When life's just one big colony collapse disorder waiting to happen, it should be safe to say 'WTF' and know that everyone can relate to your profound distress and confusion. Joining the ranks of officially recognized colloquialisms, a slew of new school terminology has been added to Merriam Webster's official collection. 'Emoji', 'colossal squid' 'jeggings' and 'NSFW' are joined by more technological terms such as 'net neutrality' and 'sharing economy' in a bid to expand our modern lexicon and perhaps to make us sound articulate AF. See the additions here.

//FINE WINE AND SMELLY CHEESE//

Do you believe in life after Marc Jacobs? Cher is making sure you never have to find out. As the latest star of the designer’s upcoming collection, the legendary singer replaces a slew of incredibly young models as the face of the line. She is one of several older female icons to grace the advertisements of high fashion labels lately, including Joan Didion for Céline. Perhaps it’s a reaction to the public’s push-back against Lolita-esque models, or perhaps it’s just that we’re entering a brave new world in which older women are respected and admired, not ridiculed for being obsolete and wrinkly.

//THE BEGINNING OF THE END//

Flash flooding, catastrophic earthquakes, the discovery of mass graves brimming with victims of human trafficking? We thought we'd seen it all over the past fortnight but nothing could shake the world more than the discovery of an SMS that would cause one's iPhone, not only to shut down, but to result in 'problematic' use of iMessaging thereafter. A particular sequence of non-Latin script (that certainly won't be divulged here but can easily be found on 'the Google') used in a text message basically causes iOS to choke and crash. Having since been proved to affect apple devices across the board, officials say they are aware of the problem and are still working on a solution. Suffice to say, this "boobytrapped text message" is still at large, tearing the world apart one iWatch at a time.

//START PRACTICING YOUR STRING DANCE//

If you love getting with cozy with the pigeons and tall gingers, boy! do we have the opportunity for you. Airbnb is hosting a contest in which one lucky viewer will get the chance to spend the night up in the studio rafters of Conan O'Brien's late night show. Built in 1927, the studio once housed the sets of such classics as Karate Kid Part II. Enter here by June 1, and the show will provide you with a real bed, a guaranteed guest spot on the show, and the real prize: free parking. Hey, it’s probably roomier than most Hollywood apartments.

//LIKE WATER FOR SHIT//

Chris Ofili is bringing back the 90s with the reemergence of his infamous piece, The Holy Virgin Mary. The painting, which depicts The Virgin surrounded by literal elephant dung (apparently it doesn’t smell anymore), was eloquently condemned by Rudy Giuliani as “sick stuff” in 1996 when it was first shown at the Brooklyn Museum of Art. Now, eccentric Australian billionaire—and proprietor of MoNA—David Walsh, is selling the piece at Christie’s June 30 sale in London for at least a few million.

//RICH BUT NOT YET FAMOUS//

DTLA has officially transformed from a hotspot for smack and human feces to where one goes for artisan coffee. Come June 6, LA’s Arts District will be taken over by Parachute Market, a biannual fair that celebrates innovative design and artistic collaboration. The Market is at once an opportunity for designers to showcase their work, for consumers to view it, and for artists and creatives to mingle and develop a spontaneous community.

Curated by Elaina Ransford and Emily Nimptsch.